Confession: The Covid Awakening
When health issues bring you face to face with death, often we emerge from these experiences with newfound courage to live truthfully to who we are. Until now, this new-found lease on life has always been preceeded with an incredibly difficult time and gifted to an exclusive few. Covid-19 changed that. Now we’re all in quarantine getting a good hard look at ourselves, our community, and what on earth we spend our time on. It’s a gift of infinite value. The entire world right now gets to recalibrate. One day, this will be over. What discoveries have you made? How will you emerge from your cocoon?
My Discoveries
Time is precious. Eight weeks have passed in isolation. Have I changed? How have I grown? How quickly the time passes when we drown ourselves in distraction especially social media. I am aware. I will be more creative. I will spend more quality time with people.
I love my community way more than I thought I did: the families in my building, the families at my school, the families in my spiritual circle, my extended family. They are beautiful people. I miss them. We are apart of each other. I should’ve been hugging more.
I love my husband and children more than I thought I did. It’s easy to take the people you live with for granted especially because it’s so easy to get hung up on their short comings. After our first few weeks together in quarantine, where we had to find our place and our new routine, I am in awe of how peaceful our home is, how loving my children are to each other, how loving we all are to eachother. Who knew that a little time together would yield obedient, peaceful, calm children?
I am not as interesting as I thought I was. I used to fantasize about living on my own with no distractions so that I could blossom into the purest version of myself. I imagined that I’d become supernatural. Turns out, with endless time to myself, I realized that I looked for distraction, things to do, and movies to watch. It turns out that when given a choice to be alone forever or be with others, I would chose the people who are already the ones in my community. It turns out that when stripped of distraction and others, I’m not as creative, spiritual, loving, joyful, etc, that I’d always thought I was. I need my community. They allow me to be the best I can be.
I remembered how much I love cooking. I was so busy before that I’d forgotten how much I’ve always loved cooking. I was eating to stay alive, but now I’m eating for enjoyment again. I love cooking. I love taking pictures of my creations. I love eating the foods I’ve created. Creativity is everything. I need to be intentional about carving out time to be creative or everyday tasks will drown me.
Fashionable clothing is useless. Now that I’m indoors, I’ve saved a small fortune not buying spring clothes for my kids and updating my own wardrobe for the new season. I hope I always remember how much money I saved not shopping for clothes this year. Alternating hoodies is a good reality.
9 times / 10, going into debt is not worth it. I am eternally thankful that I don’t live with all kinds of debt to deal with. I am thankful that I was able to hold out and not succumb to owning something immediately but patiently waited until I could properly purchase. (I was tempted to refurnish my living room just before this happened and am so thankful I held off.) I need to remember this so I don’t get tempted in the future.
Owning land that can grow food is infinitely valuable. I am aware of how vulnerable living in the city is with no access to food sustenance. My life depends on grocery stores.
It’s easy to start feeling flighty and ungrounded living on the fourth floor. After weeks of not touching earth, I was euphoric when I finally got to grocery shop and put my feet on hard ground. Meditation has been my only life-saver in this case grounding me as much as possible in such a distractible time.
Post-Quarantine Resolutions
• I will make more time to be creative.
• I will appreciate my husband more. I couldn’t live with anyone else. Pretty sure, no one could live with me either 😉
• I will get outside more with my children.
• I will nix the use of screens over the summer break. There is no need for them. My children need to be forced to be creative.
• I will focus more time on my health: eating well & exercising.
• I will try not to spend money on anything that doesn’t make us healthier or better in any way. Money needs to go toward big picture items.
• I want a home with trees, water, sunlight, a garden, and near a spiritual centre.
• I will hug more.
• I will sit around more fires.
• I will sleep less in order to make more out of life.
• Stillness is everything. I will continue to practice stillness with more awareness of how beneficial it is to my well-being.
• I will be more thankful. I AM more thankful.